Boy, howdy, I wish I had a few more friends in my life. What with the wife and kids, I don’t get a whole heck of a lot of me time. Well, I am allowed to watch educational programming once in a while (my wife frowns on sports), and I saw this show about different separatist groups, and I was sorta thinking to myself, “Would one of these separatist movements work for me?”
Some of the groups are like super-religious, and I’m not, so the Christian Exodus group, recently relocating to South Carolina and planning to secede from the Union, may not be for me. They want to form their own Christian Republic. But South Carolina gets really hot in the summer, and I’m not sure goin to meetins would be much fun after a spell. I guess I’m kinda surprised a Christian group would get all upset now and want to secede, anyhow, what with President Bush in charge, because he’s all Christian and stuff. And what if these Christian Conservatives don’t like me? Don’t they make you give testimonies about how you did drugs and slept with everyone and now you’re better? I never did any of that stuff, so I don’t think I’d fit in.
So I checked out some of the white separatist groups, since I’m white and all that. The White Citizens Council looked promising because they have chapters in Florida, Georgia, Alabama, Louisiana, Tennessee, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, and New York. I live pretty close to Illinois and Michigan. They have about 15,000 members and just want to protect the "European-American" heritage from those of other ethnicities. My family was from Europe once upon a time, and if other ethnicities are trying to take that from me, I guess I might be willing to do something to minimize that. You know, I’ve been to Irish Fest once, even though I’m not even Irish, but my wife is, so I guess that sorta counts. But I wasn’t sure about the whole segregation thing. They don’t seem to want to hang out with certain people, and that seems kinda weird. I wonder if they’d want to hang out with all the Christians who are moving to South Carolina.
I also found out about the Basque separatist group who live somewhere in Europe. They don’t want to be part of France or Spain or something, which seems kind of funny because the White Citizens Council wants to be part of Europe, but the Basques want to be part of something else, but I’m not really sure what that is because they write everything in some foreign language.
I guess there are some separatist groups in Montana and Utah and places like that where old men get a bunch of young women to have a lot of babies and tend their sheep and stuff, and that might be fun for a little while. I don’t think my wife would be too enthusiastic about the whole thing, but I guess they try to brainwash the womenfolk. It would be kinda nice to have her agree to everything I say and wash my clothes on the washboard, but I’ve always been told people don’t like to take the garbage out and do their chores in those compounds, and that would cause all kinds of tension. And I don’t know if I’d feel right not paying my taxes.
Nope, I guess I’ll have to wait for the right separatist movement to come along, because the ones that are out there now seem really hard to get enthusiastic about. I guess we could always home-school our kids, even though most the people I know that have done that seem a bit odd. Maybe I should just join a bowling league or play online poker or the Warcraft thing.
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