The certificate will be presented during a ceremony in the Wal-Mart parking lot in recognition of the chief’s using unacceptable and derogatory terms about females and minorities, his displaying nude and partially-nude photographs of women, and his sending emails with sexual content to other police officers. One might ask, “What the hell is the world coming to?” when a police chief gets into trouble for such minor offenses. What we're dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the law, and the chief has to lose ten days of his $82,951 salary because some people are offended by a bit of police humor. You bet your ass on that, boy.
“Nobody, and I mean NOBODY makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum's pecker.” And nobody should try to make an upstanding chief who’s just trying to do his job the right way look like that, either. Fortunately, the chief was found only to have violated department policy, and the acts did not constitute sexual harassment. No further action was taken by investigators because those “sombitches couldn't close an umbrella.”
This happens every time one of these floozies starts poontangin' around with those show folk fags, and the harassment should stop now. The chief should simply say, “We don't got time for that crap! Dumb sumbitch!” and move on with the work that needs to be done to maintain an orderly City of Pewaukee. The chief needs to concentrate on reminding people in his community to “don't go home, and don't go to eat, and don't play with yourself. It wouldn't look nice on my highway…Now you can THINK about it, but don't do it!”
Though Pewaukee’s police chief needs to be thinking about “One shit at a time” right now, he should not allow the minor reprimand to alter his form of police work. He simply needs to get back out on the road and tell someone, “My handle is Smokey Bear and I'm tail grabbin' your ass right now!” Sometimes we all need to “duck, or you'll be talkin' out your ass.” We need to watch out for those who are offended by any little old naked picture in the workplace or some police humor name-calling. Endeavor to persevere, Chief, and remember, “If you're gonna hang out in places like this, wear a badge on your didey.” And if your kids ever disagree with your methods because it’s embarrassing for them at school, just say, “There's no way, NO way that you came from MY loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth!”
