Zorro Unmasked After Botched Rescue of Maiden from Casa de Culo

The Dons have finally done what seemed to be impossible. They have captured the great Zorro after he attempted to save a woman he believed was being raped. The entire situation, however, appears to have been an elaborate trap. Zorro, sitting in his Oconomowoc apartment, eating Cheetos and playing World of Warcraft, heard the sounds of a maiden in distress. Of course, the great hero of the people rushed immediately to his neighbor’s dwelling, romantically smashed down the door, and wielded his mighty sword to rescue the poor woman.
Zorro’s neighbor, however, sheathed his own sword and chased the surprised hero back to his hideout, one floor below. The maiden in distress was but a common harlot in the throws of ecstasy, on DVD no less. And the neighbor was none other than Zorro’s arch-nemesis Montero. The District Attorney will surely prosecute Zorro for crimes against the ruling families of the region.