Axis of Evil Countries Unveil New Marketing Campaign

By Ralph Fitch

In an effort to retain members and recruit new countries, the Axis of Evil has unveiled a new design for their official emblem and advertising. The current members of the Axis of Evil seem to include Iran, North Korea, Syria, and Cuba, while Iraq and Libya are listed as members in hiatus. The four countries still in the Axis of Evil feel that they could benefit from aggressive marketing to other countries that might consider an opportunity to express their disdain for America.

Interestingly, however, the catchy look used by the Axis of Evil resembles that of American Eagle Outfitters, and reports indicate that at least one member country contacted American Eagle about selling their ae.com website to the Axis. American intelligence officials report that the marketing is meant to target a similar demographic as the retailer: young individuals who think their parents suck, and who think that foreigners suck even more. The official American response to any country considering membership to the Axis of Evil is to immediately revoke “government” status, and instead refer it as a “regime.”

Reportedly, Venezuela is considering a trial membership to the Axis of Evil, and President Hugo Chavez has been given a membership card that entitles him to exclusive Axis of Evil benefits without a yearly fee. “I get a monthly email newsletter and special, members only discounts on weapons, keychains, and many other items,” said the president. Member countries also receive a shipment of surplus cargo shorts for their military personnel. The Axis of Evil said in a statement through Al Jazeera that the goal is to make the membership too good to turn down. “All America gives you is denigrated culture and stripping of your natural resources to pay for American appetites, but we offer you cargo shorts and hope for a future without American meddling,” reads part of the statement. No hard data exists as yet to gauge the popularity of its new marketing strategy, but analysts agree that similar marketing has led to overweight, credit card-indebted Americans, so it may be a sound approach.