American Dreaming with Dan Brubus: This Memorial Day, Let’s Support the War, but Not Necessarily Our Troops

by Dan Brubus:

The war on “terror” is good for the economy and my portfolio, so I say, “Let’s roll,” when it comes to invading other countries. However, to be honest, I’m not terribly fond of many of our troops, and I’m fine with the current handling of soldiers with injuries, disorders, and plain old problems. I say it’s your duty as an American to support the war this Memorial Day, and you can pretend to support the troops if it’s good for business, too, but you don’t have to.
The war on terror is preemptively protecting us from potential evil doers and a lot of other important things, not to mention driving my national defense stocks through the roof, so we should all get behind the kind of war that protects our children and our other assets. The war on terror is good, despite the flip-flopping opinions of millions of “Americans.”

The main problem with the aftermath of war is trying to deal with thousands of soldiers who come home injured in some way, whether mentally or physically. I know nobody in my office is going to hire a veteran with their only skill being yelling and shooting—we need someone who’s going to close accounts, not someone who’s going to scare our clients. Sure, we’ve all got “Support our Troops” ribbons on our SUVs or touring sedans, but what that means is “Support our President’s Policies Because our we Make More Money if you do.”

Think of it this way, the average American soldier is the guy who:

threw bags of dog poop at a chain link fence while growing up—maybe at your house.
got thrown out of your physics class and slammed the door, breaking it.
had sex with your wife before you did.
rides a motorcycle, and looks cool doing it.
doesn’t have a million-dollar plan.
will want the government to pay for his medical bills when he returns from the war.
had lots of friends in high school while you had homework to do.
declares bankruptcy after having to take out a loan against the value of his Mustang.

Besides the classic soldier described above, did you know there are 60,000 immigrants in the US military being promised citizenship for fighting? What more do they want from us than to make them citizens of this great country? They want low-interest loans to help them get out of debt and buy homes. Well, not in my very upscale neighborhood, Private. They want medical care that fixes every ache and pain from serving their country. Hey, sorry kids, free ride’s over. That big USMC tattooed on your arm tells me you expect a little shrapnel in there next to the ink. Last of all, they want our respect. Like I said, I can pretend with the rest of you that I fully and whole-heartedly support our troops—it’s the only way to handle them politically. But when I go home at night and make fun of their low academic performance, or vote against plans to help pay for a military welfare state, that’s my right as an American to do, even if they fought for that right. God bless you, and Happy Memorial Day.