Real Predictions For 2007

Real Predictions For 2007

1. Jim Doyle takes a campaign contribution.
2. Indians continue gambling operations.
3. Milwaukee Mayor embraces boarding schools as way to help city youth.
4. Secret underwater lab in Lake Michigan yields trick to confusing the 187 invader species of the Great Lakes to swimming back home.
5. Inner city murders plummet as outreach programs establish fight clubs.
6. Milwaukee County Parks take blame for county’s budget woes.
7. Dane County officially becomes a People’s Republic.
8. Madison constructs “aesthetic” wall on city’s far-east side.
9. Milwaukee 7 disbands after being regularly confused with Fantastic 4, Dirty Dozen and Ocean’s 11.
10. Upnorth secedes from state in protest over liberal hippies from Madison and stupid morons in Milwaukee. Waukesha and Kenosha Counties consider options.
11. People too young to know any better, yet smarter and better than all of us, continue to marry people they won’t like in a few years.
12. Beer officially made official State food after years of making case.

Real Sports Predictions for 2007

1. Brewers make us happy, sad, and drunk (and help a few of us get laid when we claim to be sports agents).
2. Sheets, Cordero, Fielder, Weeks & Hall make All-star team.
3. Packers make us happy, sad and drunk.
4. Brett Favre discovers Randy Moss is fun to throw to.
5. Bucks have little impact on us.
6. Admirals & Wave remain underrated.
7. High school basketball game ends in shoot out.
8. Badgers continue to be best sporting experience in state, regardless of sport.
9. Warriors & Badgers reach Sweet 16.
10. Milwaukee Panthers kick some ass to begin 2007-08 season.
11. The Bucks allow 24 year old point guard who is becoming an all-star to leave so they can sign a 32 year old point guard who is unbecoming an all-star.
12. 18 year veteran of Milwaukee Baseball League wins local league’s batting title.